Curiosity...

I want the world to know that despite what they think of me, how I am on their perspectives, as a stoner, well to them I can give a big salute ( do i even need to mention with which part of the either of my hands ). It's three forty five in the morning, I can feel the chill of the breeze stroking my skin and I can hear the stray dogs barking while I'm here staring at my computer screen, watching the flow of the letters as I am typing this piece on the notepad. This is something I never truly noticed earlier. The beauty and the charisma of the letters appearing out of nowhere on the screen as I type or press particular keys on my keyboard without even looking at the keyboard, is amazing. Why am I writing this? Why am I finding it very amusing out of nowhere? Will I ever get the answers to this questions? Will the thirst of my curiosity will ever be quenched? It remains to be seen...

BACK WITH A BANG!!

Finally, after all these time, here I am finding myself out here yet again writing out my own thoughts which are read by almost noone. Still I'm here HAHA! Finishing up my college and starting to work as an intern has certainly brought up some changes in me. The maturity of being a responsible employee has indeed given me something to look forward for. 

The past is past, yes, I've had my share of stuffs to screw up, but the thing is you learn from your mistakes, don't you? No wonder I can feel the new breeze of awakening coming to me after all these times. I no longer feel insecure about anything, I am a lot more confident than I have ever been and to make it even better, I am actually loving each and every moment of the days that I am spending at work and at home (unlike how I used to loathe every moment before). YAY!!!
This is my personal blog and whatever I write is all about how I feel, so if anyone gets offended (not that I have intended to offend anyone), I don't give a shit!! :D

Cheerios from the City of Temples
Nischhal

Basically a baseless thoughts!!!

I’m currently trembling while typing or should I say, writing this shit on my keyboard. Is it the cold weather or my own inability to taste, let alone digest, the bitter truth? Despised and hated by the one I love the most, the inner demon in me as laughing at me at my own stupidity for he led me to believe me that me of all people, is superior to all the living beings in this massive world. How fool of me to believe such bullshit! I’ve got my exams tomorrow, made a foolish mistake of calling that person and making myself feel worse than what I was feeling before the call. I don’t blame her but me for this. I brought this upon myself and well I have to face it as long as I take my last breath, until the last “thump” of my heart. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel as the tunnel seems to last forever.” Whatever the consequences may be, I should not give up.”  This is what I used to think. Now I can do nothing but laugh at myself for thinking that way. Not achieved even a single thing at my age in this phase of the human civilization is a big spit on my face. Everytime I walk in the streets I can see people laughing at me, laughing at my incompetence.

Regrets..

Sitting at the top staircase of the Five Storeyed temple, or Nyatapola as the locals say, i'm searching for the path to vindicate myself from all the painful experience that I've been experiensing for the past few weeks. Music playing on my earphone while writing this note just makes me focus on what i shud've done in the past instead of what i had done. Seeing people walking back home after as the moon starts to shine, i think i must've done the same when it was never too late. Yet i'm sitting here listening to the bells chiming as the wind blowing makes the hanging bell move. The darkness portraying that its too late for me to get back from what i take it as the chance that i have lost way earlier than i had realized my mistakes. Definitely regrets Are there as i gaze people walking in front of me. I had ignored all the signs that was indicating the implications of what it seemed meaningless and now here i am looking behind my past and blaming myself for all. They say time heals everything and its for time to make me go with the flow an live my life to fullest. Untill those days get back, I dont see any silver lining to the dark clouds that have been hovering over me....

Curiosity!!

Why is the earth the only place where you can find life?  And how could it sustain life for millions of years with evolutions following evolutions as the time has passed. What really makes me wonder is that the nature found it's balance among the living beings in such an intricate way that even a perfect supercomputer can't match it's preciseness. We are at the height of our human evolution. Can we surpass it and walk towards the path of superior beings that what we are right now? Human beings may be the superiors in terms of intelligence but we can look at any other examples like dolphins and chimpanzees who have intelligence. How did the humans find their way to superiority? Can we ever come in contact with any superior beings in the future?  The question remains unanswered till now.......

For A Friend

It’s a wonderful feeling you know, when you have a friend to talk to in the saddest of the times and when you have someone to talk to in person and share all the happiness with each other, it’s just so much better than being alone in a room and sulking around for hours and hours. Not that I don’t have many friends, in fact I do have loads of them, the lads from my school, my high school buddies and my college pals have been extraordinarily close to me in my whole life. Yet, we met, under one of the most unpredictable circumstances and even more surprisingly, we became very good friends in a matter of months. We share almost everything that we do every other day, we talk about each other a lot, moreover we enjoy each other’s company, be it online or in person. I am really grateful that I found you when almost all hopes were lost in me. I had stopped believing in myself yet you were there to help me with it. Reviving the lost confidence, enjoying every single moment of the life again and most importantly, I am the same person that I had been quite a few years ago, the same cheerful guy, ever smiling and making others smile. Glad that I found you my friend. Thanks for being there for me in my most difficult days. I'll make sure, that I'm gonna be there when you need me and will make sure that the cute dimpled smile on your face will never fade untill im around......

Crawling

Somedays are just like the days when you think you are invincible, while there are the others when u are like the most vulnerable creature crawling through the darkest alleys of the darkest streets in some of the cruelest of places. Realizing the mistakes you have done over the past is certainly a good one but making up for the things that you have ruined is a tough one to crack, even worse when you want to make up with another person and that person does not even consider doing that because of what you had done or said to that person. Yes, some things are done out of sheer foolishness while some are done on purpose, if you say the things you did because of your anger is a foolishness, then I cannot disagree more than anyone. While some things are done on purpose but you might not have any regrets while letting it happen. The regrets you will have is when you ruin everything you valued more than your life. Its an aweful feeling and you just cannot let go of it no matter how much you wish. Time may heal everything but whenever you come across anything that might cause the sudden strike of remembrance, then it starts all over again. These things might not apply to you if you’re not a normal human being without feelings. I know people have time and again been telling me that its out of utter foolishness and stupidity that I may be feeling like this but when you love someone so truly, with all your heart, no one can help you, actually its impossible to let go everything, let alone easily. Moving on might be an option, yes it is an option, but would that help the cause? Would that make you feel better? In some way it can, but the love you had for the person will never be replaced no matter how much you make yourself believe that it is not true, you always end up feeling it. Well that’s all I can come up with right now. I may be writing some useless shit but yes, I am writing from the bottom of my heart, the loneliness, the solitude, the exams might not be helping the cause, but I want that person to know that I am going to be there no matter how much I am hurt, no matter how much I am disheartened, all I want her to know that my love for her has never been so strong and will never weaken by some mere foul words that might come up with her irritation as a result of me being so “stuck with everything”.