I’m
currently trembling while typing or should I say, writing this shit on my
keyboard. Is it the cold weather or my own inability to taste, let alone
digest, the bitter truth? Despised and hated by the one I love the most, the
inner demon in me as laughing at me at my own stupidity for he led me to
believe me that me of all people, is superior to all the living beings in this
massive world. How fool of me to believe such bullshit! I’ve got my exams
tomorrow, made a foolish mistake of calling that person and making myself feel
worse than what I was feeling before the call. I don’t blame her but me for
this. I brought this upon myself and well I have to face it as long as I take
my last breath, until the last “thump” of my heart. I cannot see the light at
the end of the tunnel as the tunnel seems to last forever.” Whatever the
consequences may be, I should not give up.” This is what I used to think. Now I can do
nothing but laugh at myself for thinking that way. Not achieved even a single
thing at my age in this phase of the human civilization is a big spit on my
face. Everytime I walk in the streets I can see people laughing at me, laughing
at my incompetence.
